HERE'S ONE FOR YOU, DOCTOR JUNG

I wrote this last November and never posted it. Oh, well, here it is now.

I had an odd dream last night. This guy kept stealing my cheese. I was eating in this place downtown, and I'd brought along my own cheese, because their cheese sucked. That doesn't speak too well for their eggs, or their milk either, but for some reason everything else was okay and it was just the cheese that was substandard. So I'm cutting my cheese up into little cubes on the lunch counter.

There's this guy sitting next to me, wearing engineer's coveralls like they have in the Navy. He seems a friendly, expansive sort of bloke. But every time I turn my head, a few more of my cheese cubes have disappeared.

So I say, "You've got my cheese, haven't you?" And he says, "What cheese?" So I start pounding on him. I upend him eventually, holding him by the ankles, and the cheese falls out of his pocket. And he says, "Okay, okay, so I have your cheese." I say "Leave it alone from here on out." But he keeps it up. More of my cheese keeps disappearing, and I keep beating on this sweet creep.

I must say I was a real tough guy in this dream. I've gotten into fights in my dreams in the past, and I've always gotten the crap beat out of me before. But I was really whaling on this dirtbag. It didn't help, though, because eventually all I had was a few cubes, and he'd spirited away the rest of it somehow; it wasn't anywhere on him.

I woke up because he was lying on the floor and I was kicking him in the balls, and my leg, which was hanging off the futon somewhat, actually kicked, and I banged my toe smartly on the wooden floor. It hurt for about an hour.

Hmmm, what's the moral here, I wonder? "Never steal Gowan's cheese when he's asleep." Not a particularly moral moral, it seems to me.